My first STD was from a foam party
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
