Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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