That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
