i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
