Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
