I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
