i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Randomize
