We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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