Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Welp...herpes.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Randomize
