Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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