All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
