Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
