Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
