Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
