I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
do nipples grow back?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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