watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
