and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
