i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
