oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize