Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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