dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
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