i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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