If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
