PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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