Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
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