so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Randomize
