That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
