it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
