I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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