I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
