Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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