Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize