Can Purell be used as lube?
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
