i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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