chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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