Pappa wants mamma naked
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
