Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
