I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
