in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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