He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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