She tied me up with her honor cords...
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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