I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
