That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize