I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
