Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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