if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I feel like a drive thru vagina
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
