I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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