Do you still have your period?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
