yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
