we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
