and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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