We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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