For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
be right there i have to get my cape
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize