apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
