I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
