just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I am full of burrito and curiosity
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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