You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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